The Butterfly Effect*

Originally published in The Valiant Vol. 1 No. 17

It’s less than a week before I finally face a new chapter of my life, so I might as well re-evaluate myself and make sense of what was, what is, and what will be.

I. “WHAT WAS”

I didn’t know him when we were in college. I was a committed writer of the university’s student publication. Needless to say, I was also a hardcore social activist during the time. I found a deeper purpose being such than merely studying and passing the subjects in the academe.

He, on the other hand, also belonged in an institution that ensured the integrity of student government elections. In short, he also had his fair share of extra-curricular experience, but not as dedicated as I am. His main priority was to stay enrolled in the university, so he juggled studies and work at the same time. His family back in province cannot afford to send him to college, so he’s left on his own.

He noticed me several times when we were doing coverage of the student elections. He said whenever he laid his eyes on me, I was always holding a pen and paper, busy jotting down whatever’s going on. What I was writing, he didn’t know. He secretly admired me for that, yet he never had the courage to approach me. After all, his focus was his studies at the time.

We both graduated March 2009. I got my degree in teaching English, whereas his degree is Mathematics. Impressively, he also succeeded in getting a certificate of specialization in Library Science.

We had our own separate ways after college graduation.

I declared myself as full time activist immediately thereafter. I had absolute, full conviction of my political beliefs. I considered going to the mountains upon realizing how rotten our society has become—that’s how committed I was to the ideology. I believed that my strength in writing will be of much use in terms of propaganda work in the countryside. I could also practice my profession there since there aren’t enough teachers in far-flung barrios, I thought. My plan was as clear as the sunrise.

He, on the other hand, continued what is expected of a graduate from our university—to be a full-fledged classroom teacher.

Then came 2011. My field of work changed somehow. From the mass organization, I was moved to legislative work. From the tiresome yet fulfilling area hopping in city schools, I was transferred to work in the air conditioned, impersonal halls of the Philippine Congress. I must say it was an important turning point of my life. To cut the long story short, I wasn’t able to keep up with the fast-paced nature and pressure of my new work. Most of all, I had terrible issues with people whom I looked up to as either a model or confidante. What I saw and felt there runs counter to everything I learned in my activist years. Yes, it was better and more comfortable in my new workplace, but it was not the kind of environment I hoped to be in.

My commitment slowly drifted away because of these dilemmas. I resented everything about my new work, until I just decided to quit and leave everything behind.

II. “WHAT IS”

His entering my life was a much-needed escape from demoralizing disillusionment at my previous work. I might be accused of being unjust, but it was more of a pragmatic move for me back then. For me, not much emotion was involved at the beginning. I just needed someone who could help me get into the “real world”, far from the ideal world I painted in my mind since college days.

I decided to finally get into a dating relationship with him as I orient myself to the “real world”. Again, it is such a bold decision for me because it does not adhere to my personal principles. He is a masa. His political views are backward and conservative. But I also know that I needed a support system in this crucial transition period. I felt like an alien trying to fit in an unfamiliar territory. So I had to take the risk.

He is not difficult to love, though. He is a good, comforting soul to my restless, stubborn self. His commitment to me and to our relationship is as constant as night and day.

Just when we were enjoying each other’s company, a difficult family problem emerged. My mother had a marriage problem.  I told myself, this might be a good test for our relationship. If he would still stick with me in these trying times, then it’ll be good. If not, then I’d gracefully accept the sad truth. My mother needed me the most that time, and I couldn’t abandon her. Our time for each other was drastically affected. I silently prayed that by choosing my mother that time, I would see the real intention of the man I was with for a year.

And evidently, I hurled myself to the right person. He never misses his weekend visit to Quezon City all the way from his abode in the South. He sticks with me all these years.

He is indeed a God-given miracle, an answer to my endless questions.

We are extreme opposites. He is an early bird, while I am a night person. He’s conservative, but I’m progressive. He appreciates calmness and tranquility, whereas the smallest of things could instantly agitate me. I can pass a day or two without resolving our misunderstandings, but he will be so persistent to end it the same day and hug each other okay before sunset. I can leave Earth in one corner while reading a good book; he would just doze off on the second page. I revere individualism and solitary moments, but he is a strong believer of our companionship. He’s the one who always shed tears during arguments; I have the heart made of steel. I am so troubled with numbers but he’s a genius with it. Our differences are infinite. But surprisingly, we are still able to manage in keeping the relationship steady.

He is the one who made me believe in God again. Way back college days, I became a self-professed agnostic. We cannot simply entrust our lives with an inanimate being, I thought. The belief that God has a hand in everything is unintelligible for me then. But when I got to know him better, all of my beliefs changed drastically. To me, he is like a personification of God’s love. Perhaps God wants to tell me that, “Good news, I’m real. And here’s the proof.” No matter how stubborn, illogical and immature I become most of the time, he remains in an unbelievably calm way.  I didn’t hear a single judgment from him. He always stands by me. So even without him asking for it, we would now attend church every Sunday. It is my way of expressing gratitude to God that after all my stubbornness and angst against Him, he remained as the One who always understands and gives only the best to His children.

The first time I had hard feelings about him was when I thought he’d try to stop me from practicing my activist life again, in any way possible. I felt so suppressed, so violated. One time, I wanted to attend the wake of an acquaintance who got himself killed in an encounter. I really wanted to come and pay my respects for the last time, but he wouldn’t allow me. He uttered the words I never thought I’d hear ever: “If you still choose to go there, I’m afraid we have to go on separate ways.” He said he was scared that my life might be put into danger there as well, and he wants to avoid unnecessary heartaches due to “poor” decisions like it.

I cursed him. I chose to lose myself to drunkenness that night.

But then I realized, he is not the problem—it was me. I am indecisive. Unsure. I am not contemplative and persistent enough to maintain whatever ideology is left on me. He is just trying to protect me, just as how a decent man would protect his woman from any harm. Because really, the path I chose to take few years back is indeed a path less traveled, and I cannot blame him for not being so ready to fully embrace it.

III. “WHAT WILL BE”

We are a work in progress. Pessimistic people would always quip, “Wait until you see the real side of him after few more years.” But, I am undisturbed of these warnings. Why should I? I already saw our biggest differences in the last four years. We were able to surpass them all. Right now, we are still facing issues yet we remain intact as we solve them one by one.

I am not belittling the challenges that we’re going to face in this new chapter of our lives. What keeps my faith now is the fact that life’s innumerable hardships made us even closer and stronger than I have ever imagined.

More than four years passed by, and now, I love him more than anyone else in this world.

I am marrying my best friend, my confidante, my lover, my problem solver, my clown, my house repair man, my financial consultant, my educational supervisor. He is practically everything rolled into one.

He gave the world to me. Now, it’s time to make it a more beautiful place to live in for him. #

* butterfly effect—the scientific theory that a single occurrence, no matter how small, can change the course of the universe forever.

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Invincible

Julie Anne Tapit-Vital

Originally published in The Valiant Vol. 1 No. 16 June to December 2014

Child rights activists were victorious when the Department of Education (DepEd) beefed up the Child Protection policy in schools. While it only means well for the rights and welfare of students, the policy became a way for some students to feel invincible especially from the classroom teachers’ discipline measures.

The Child Protection Policy of the DepEd ultimately aims to achieve an “effective implementation of a zero tolerance policy for any act of child abuse, exploitation, violence, discrimination, bullying and other forms of abuse”.

In particular, it enumerated the prohibited acts against children which include child abuse, discrimination against children, child exploitation, violence against children in school, corporal punishment and bullying or peer abuse.

According to DepEd, the most number of child abuse cases referred to the Central Office came from the National Capital Region (NCR) and Region 4-A from August 2010 to present, with 59 cases from the former and 22 from the latter.

DepEd statistics reveal that 3 out of 10 children in Grades 1-3 and almost 5 out of 10 from high school experience physical violence committed by teachers. Meanwhile, approximately 4 out of 10 children in Grades 1-3 and 7 out of 10 in higher grade levels have complained about verbal abuse by their teachers.

Worse, 36.53% of children in Grades 4-6 and 42.88% of high school students surveyed indicated they have experienced verbal-sexual violence in school and 11.95% of children in Grades 4-6 and 17.60% of high school students have experienced inappropriate touching.

With these disturbing figures in mind, the implementation of said policy is highly urgent. Lo and behold, the department’s information campaign regarding the policy has been extremely effective that children gained enough courage to speak out for themselves in times of direct assault from difficult peers.

But some students took advantage of this “protection” enshrined by the policy, with classroom teachers as its main target. It is an open book how challenging it is to teach in the public school system. Some students take with them this sort of “shield” to assert themselves from teachers’ reprimand, let alone sanctions due to misbehavior.

The situation is being worsened with the fact that teachers also experience undue humiliation, when some parents go directly to national media to air their grievances instead of having the issue settled with the concerned agencies and authorities first.

This could have been prevented if the underlying provisions of Child Protection policy are strictly observed. Highlighted in the policy is that, “the identity or other information that may reasonably identify the pupil or student shall remain confidential…” as well as “…the identity of a respondent-teacher shall likewise be kept confidential…”

The lack of guidance counselors in schools also aggravates the scenario. In Camp Crame High School alone, classroom teachers also serve as guidance counselors since there are limited if no applicants at all in the division. Certainly, there are particular skills needed to become an effective school guidance counselor. A classroom teacher, who is already overworked yet underpaid, could only do so much.

In a society where violence against children thrives, the Child Protection policy is such a great panacea. Proponents of this policy must perform a continuous monitoring of its implementation so that no one among the stakeholders feel left out or stepped on for another. #

Overhauling Philippine Transport System

Julie Anne Tapit-Vital

Originally published in The Valiant Vol. 1 No. 17 June 2015-January 2016

The callousness and incompetence of concerned authorities with regard to the faulty transportation system of the country might bring the entire Metro to the brink of worst-ever urban disaster. 

The issue on transportation and traffic problems in the city is already overemphasized if not taken for granted by many. People have created their own ways on how to adapt with this seemingly unfathomable dilemma. 

There is a popular saying by the great poet Maya Angelou which states, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” Too bad many among us city people seem to have surrendered to the latter. We cannot blame ourselves, though. The everyday struggle of braving the city’s traffic and transportation problem has put us into a disheartened, miserable state. 

Before we completely lose ourselves to hopelessness, let us count the reasons why we must persist in solving this perennial city problem.

First, traffic problems decrease productivity. Business people have already attested to this. Even business owners themselves abhor the idea that their employees cannot report on time because they were stuck in traffic. What makes it worse is the fact that these employees arrive at work, yet unable to function well because their potential energies were all eaten up by the commute itself. 

Second, traffic problems hamper economic growth. When there is not enough production from the labor force, the economic growth would surely be affected in a rather negative way. For example, delays in the delivery of goods would affect its quality and marketability. Fresh vegetables coming from Baguio City, if caught up with delivery delays, would arrive in Manila wilted and unfit for selling. 

Lastly, traffic problems deny quality time for families. Diligent workers allot huge amount of time for their transportation just so to reach work on time. It is indeed a responsible act in the professional aspect, but in the expense of the longer and quality time devoted to the family. This often results to weaker family ties, rebellious children, and troublesome marriages. 

The effects are absolutely overwhelming. In my opinion, the general public endured and sacrificed enough to deal with this problem. It is the concerned authorities and the government’s inaction that makes this problem aggravate even more. 

If only the government has enough political will to address these repercussions, our country would have been greater than it is today. 

For instance, the government should have built better transportation systems so that commuters would have more options in their daily transport. It can be recalled that President Benigno “PNoy” Aquino III once said he would let the train run over him if the new Metro Rail Transit line fails to finish in 2016. Now that 2016 has arrived and the train is yet to be seen, many are wondering if President Aquino would fulfill his words.

Our neighboring and developed countries such as Singapore have impressive subway systems. Japan boasts its bullet train as one of the fastest modes of transportation in the world. We may belong in the Third World, but what difference do we have from these rich countries when it comes to desire in improving our own transportation system?

Philippines needs an overhaul. Let us begin with the kind of leaders we put into power. Let us avoid leaders who are lame and insensitive of the people’s ills; those who put the blame to the general public—to us workers who move the economy forward. It’s time for us to choose leaders who are serious and driven to solve this longstanding dilemma. #

Why Sex Education Should Be Taught In Schools

Julie Anne D. Tapit-Vital

Originally published in The Valiant Vol.1 No.16 June-December 2016

Being a self-confessed bookworm, it was such a delight whenever I share ideas in a particular book which I find engaging.

I have just read this thought-provoking book entitled “Sex for Beginners” by Errol Selkirk (1988). As stated in its back flap, it is not just another ‘how-to’ manual. (Perhaps it is just one way of the authors to catch the attention of its potential readers.)

Allow me to count some reasons why I considered this book a page-turner one: first, it discussed how the view on sexuality evolved from a particular milieu to another; second, it provided information as to how the well-known personalities in their respective fields such as Sigmund Freud (psychologist), Kate Millet (feminist), Karl Marx and Vladimir Lenin (revolutionary theorists) view human sexuality; third, it emphasized the varying gender roles in the society; and lastly (but more importantly), it tackled how the dominant groups in a society used sex to further repress and oppress the people, women in particular.

I was the most enthusiastic, excited story teller after reading a few chapters of that book. So there I was, re-echoing what I have read to my most supportive listener—my mother. But this time, I was quite “caught unprepared” with her reactions.

I would not delve deeper on the details of the conversation. The point, however, is that she turned out to be quite conservative and negative about the rather liberating ideas on human sexuality that I shared. 

That particular incident has made me REALLY realize that sex education/gender education should be included in the school curriculum. I have heard many stories of children being shunned by their conservative parents whenever they try to inquire about matters concerning human sexuality. It never occurred to me that I will also experience such scenario. If children and young teenagers won’t be able to rely on the home to seek answers to their endless queries on human sexuality and gender, where else should they go to? What if parents themselves, even before hearing their children air their inquiries, have already established a barrier on the issue? Eventually, these children will turn to other people (more often than not, their peers) who know little about this important issue. And this poses even greater danger for our children.

In my opinion, we cannot “sugarcoat” these bitter truths about sexuality, inequality, etc.  Sex is almost always used to oppress women. Needless to say, it is part of the feminist work to expose these truths, no matter how awful it may become, because it IS the truth, and it IS happening.

During my three-year stint as fourth year teacher in Camp Crame High School, I have also encountered cases of teenage pregnancies. Some of my students are already mothers at a very young age. Studying has never been more difficult for them because of child rearing responsibilities that are almost always left to, women nonetheless.

There are attempts made by the Department of Education to "soften" the idea of "sex education"--they replaced it with a more "politically-correct" term GENDER EDUCATION, but to no avail. Sex education/gender education still isn't included in the curriculum.

What we don’t know never keeps us safe, it just keeps us in denial.

Hello, Blogging World!

I finally gave it a try!

Welcome to my official blog. It was way back  2010, when someone told that blogging may be a good idea for me because I make "nice" stories out of meaningful pictures. (By the way, she became my fellow staff in the Philippine Congress and currently works as a field reporter in one of the biggest media outlets in the country.) I hope it is never too late to heed her bright "suggestion".

You might probably wonder why I chose "Thinker Belle Blogs" as blog title. Well, I don't want to stress myself too much about it, so I just used my pseudonym in Facebook "Thinker Belle" and attached a verb ("blogs") to it. 

My pseudonym needs a bit of clarification, though. It's neither a case of typographical error, nor a mere "kaartehan". "Thinker"--because I am such a deep thinker my mind seems to work 24/7. I think so much even about random things! Meanwhile, "Belle" means "a very attractive and popular girl or woman". Well, I do not consider myself as such but if given the chance, I'd like to be known for my thoughts and ideas. I want Thinker Belle to be known as a woman whose thoughts and ideas cannot be dismissed--ideas that could shape public opinion and eventually contribute in changing the world to become a better place. 

The pages I have created are aligned with my interests: teacher and education, society, culture, commentaries, as well as reviews (movie, book, among others). 

I have also dedicated a page to promote my services as a freelance writer-editor that you may find helpful with your future endeavors. 

That's all for today. Thanks for reading this entry and I hope you'll be one of my avid readers! 

Cheers, 
Julie